Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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