what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Girls should come with a carfax report
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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