Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
