Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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