Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
