I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
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