remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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