i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
