have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize