I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
