Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
