sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
