I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
