Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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