Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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