i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
