i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
