Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
