This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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