Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
