Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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