All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Randomize
