I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
