Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
