RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
