i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
