I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
