Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
