WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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