don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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