I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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