Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
