So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
