BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
