If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize