I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
