not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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