the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
He passed out mid-signature
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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