So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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