yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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