About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
