im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
