sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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