I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Randomize
