We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Do vagina's smell?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
