i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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