I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Dicks are not precious.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
