I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
