oh god the rape fog is back!
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
