I think my vagina is haunted
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
