My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Randomize
