Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
