I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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