Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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