Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
