So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize