I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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