her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
