as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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