New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Be still, my beating vagina.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
