I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
