it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
