have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize