Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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