thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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