they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
